Meet Inappropriate Woman!

You may know Inappropriate Woman. She could be your neighbor, a friend's mother or even your own mother or mother-in-law. Usually, you come face to face with Inappropriate Woman at the worst times. It's part of Mom's Law.

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Inappropriate Woman: "Oh, hi, honey, how are you?"

Me: "Hi--"

IW: "Look at your son's hair! Tsk, tsk. He needs a haircut. He looks like a girl. How long are you waiting to cut it, till it's down to his shoulders?"

"Oh, and what is that on your chin?"

Me (trying to keep smiling): "A pimple?"

IW: "Oh, would you look at that? It looks like the kind that really hurts. Is it the kind that really hurts?"

"I'm here returning this statue. I got it for Mother's Day. My daughter gave it to me. But I wanted an outside statue, not an inside statue. I can't do anything with this. Did you have a nice Mother's Day? I bet your husband didn't do anything for you, huh? Figures, men don't get it anyway. But you've got to keep your man happy. Did you know that? You've got to be there for him when he gets home, do you know what I'm saying? You don't have those piercings like women do today, do you?"

"Wait, before you go, ah, are you going to church this weekend? There's a concert at my church. You should go. They have childcare. You could put your boy in the nursery. There's probably a few women working in the nursery."

"OK, well I see you're trying to shop, take care!" {plants huge lipstick kiss near son's mouth}