My violent and disturbed readers
For about two years during college, I was a waitress. I like to say that job saved my life because it helped me really learn about people. (But the tips were so bad it almost killed me!)
That's also why I love reading other bloggers' lists of how people find their blogs. What people search on -- just like what they order to eat in a restaurant and how they treat the wait staff -- is so telling about human nature.
Like how people have found my blog:
"Poison red berry ground" -- So this person wants to grind up some poison red berry. Maybe s/he's suicidal. Or trying to kill another person. In any case, do you really think you should be grinding it up? What if you're allergic and it gets on your hands? Then you're sunk. Perhaps you should step away from the berries and talk to someone who can help.
"Lizard pesticides" -- This person wants to kill a defenseless little reptile. (It's a vicious bunch, these people who visit my blog!) Well, you're not going to find any help at this blog, reptile murderer! I happen to like lizards. May lizard zombies haunt you!
"Mom senior sexy" -- Uhhhh.... Mom? I didn't know you read my blog.
"Weighing pros and cons" -- This person is trying to make a decision. S/he is taking a long, hard look at things. Important things. Just don't fall for that old joke, "Which weighs more: a pound of feathers or a pound of lead?"
Most disturbing, however, is my blog currently turns up the #1 search result for:
"Mom makes son wear thongs" -- Um. I'm very concerned here. And likely this person is too. I don't think anyone should be forced to wear a thong. And anyway, do they make thongs for children? Or should I get my mind out of the gutter and focus on feet -- as in flip-flops? I have had my share of problems with flip-flops, too. For boys, I recommend basic sandals, Crocs, sneakers -- and/or Underoos.
Update: someone found my blog by searching for "sexy mom.com." Oh, thank you....
Human nature. Endlessly fascinating.
That's also why I love reading other bloggers' lists of how people find their blogs. What people search on -- just like what they order to eat in a restaurant and how they treat the wait staff -- is so telling about human nature.
Like how people have found my blog:
"Poison red berry ground" -- So this person wants to grind up some poison red berry. Maybe s/he's suicidal. Or trying to kill another person. In any case, do you really think you should be grinding it up? What if you're allergic and it gets on your hands? Then you're sunk. Perhaps you should step away from the berries and talk to someone who can help.
"Lizard pesticides" -- This person wants to kill a defenseless little reptile. (It's a vicious bunch, these people who visit my blog!) Well, you're not going to find any help at this blog, reptile murderer! I happen to like lizards. May lizard zombies haunt you!
"Mom senior sexy" -- Uhhhh.... Mom? I didn't know you read my blog.
"Weighing pros and cons" -- This person is trying to make a decision. S/he is taking a long, hard look at things. Important things. Just don't fall for that old joke, "Which weighs more: a pound of feathers or a pound of lead?"
Most disturbing, however, is my blog currently turns up the #1 search result for:
"Mom makes son wear thongs" -- Um. I'm very concerned here. And likely this person is too. I don't think anyone should be forced to wear a thong. And anyway, do they make thongs for children? Or should I get my mind out of the gutter and focus on feet -- as in flip-flops? I have had my share of problems with flip-flops, too. For boys, I recommend basic sandals, Crocs, sneakers -- and/or Underoos.
Update: someone found my blog by searching for "sexy mom.com." Oh, thank you....
Human nature. Endlessly fascinating.
Labels: blogging, everything and nothing
posted by Holly at 6:56 AM
6 Comments:
Blogger clearly gives better statistics than Typepad because I can never find out that kind of fun stuff!
Sent a little bloggy love from my site to yours today! Check it out.
"Weighing pros and cons" is trying to make an important decision and naturally turned to the Internet for answers. There might be bigger issues there.
aren't search phrases hilarious and frightening at the same time??
LOL - those were quite interesting to say the least. My search results have been very boring. I'm not sure if that is good or bad ;)
Now I'm all interested in what post caused the thong result to return. Okay, scratch that. :)
Isn't it crazy to think what wacko's search for? Oy.
Man, you really do have some crazy, sickos hanging around these parts! "Lizard pesticides"- Yikes! I don't even know what that is, but it doesn't sound friendly.
p.s. I HAD to read your comment on my last post to Dadisodes. I seriously shot fluids out my nose when I read "Kiwi!" Bahwahahahah!!!
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