Disney on Ice: Princess Classics

For the opening night of Disney on Ice: Princess Classics, I learned little boys can like princesses too. Surrounded by tiara-and-gown-wearing little girls, not only did I see lots of dads and boys, but my own husband and sons came with me. (But don't tell my husband I told you that.) In fact, we all got sprayed with beer by a guy who dropped his bottle while going down the stairs. And I mean, we all reeked of alcohol, so it's a good thing we didn't get stopped by the police on the way home, or we might have been suspect of a DUI and contributing to the delinquency of minors. So it was sort of like going to a game where the uniforms are more sparkly and the music has more violins and harps.

So.

Princess Classics tells the fairy tales everyone loves.

There are Aladdin and his genie.



At first, Jasmine isn't buying it...



But a magic carpet ride changes everything.



Magic carpets are totally the new sports cars. If you don't believe me, just ask Aladdin, who got the girl in the end.



Some fairy tales don't rely on genies, but fairies. With names like Flora, Fauna and Merriweather. You never hear about a fairy called Bob or Hank.



Fairy tales teach us that if you happen to be dancing in the woods one day and meet a stranger, it's not creepy -- it's love.



It's also perfectly normal for a book-loving girl to live in a castle with a beast.



And then the beast becomes a normal guy with a ponytail, which is way hotter than having a hunchback and a wet nose.



Fairy tales teach us that if you want something, you can make a deal with an octopus that is really a witch.



And you will get your man in the end. Or, he will get you and raise you over his head.



It's fine to take up residence with a group of jewel-mining dwarves and be their housekeeper.



But you have to whistle while you work.



Sometimes, ladies, you have to pretend to be a dude, but you can't keep your secret hidden for long.



It's all good, because in the end, everyone has somebody to love, and they look great too.



Now, Minnie and Mickey. What is their love story, exactly? They've been an item for a long time. What's their secret for a long-term relationship?



Mickey and Minnie are definitely a G-rated couple, though -- they always have a chaperone around.



In fairy tales, the heroines are always beautiful, and the villains are fugly like Cinderella's stepsisters.



When your best friends are rodents, you know you've hit rock bottom.



How many people can say their friends made them a ball gown, though?



Of course, the gown won't last when your stepsisters find out the rodents stole their stuff to make your dress. Life is full of ups and downs.



When all hope is lost, a little magic saves the day.



One day you're scrubbing floors, and the next you're headed to a royal ball in some new wheels.



Everyone dances perfectly.



All eyes will be on you.



For a few hours, anyway.



And everyone lives happily ever after.

(If you go for guys who wear red pants, Cindy, that's none of my business, but.... You can edit his closet after the honeymoon.)

Thanks to the generous and good-looking people at Mom Central and Feld Entertainment (which puts on the Disney on Ice shows), my family got to see the show and give away tickets to a lucky family. If you want to see the show, you can get a four-pack of tickets for $44 at Ticketmaster if you use the coupon code MOM. The MOM coupon code is also good for $4 off any weekend show.

Princess Classics will be at the BankAtlantic Center on the following dates:

Friday, September 18: 7:30pm
Saturday, September 19: 3:30pm, 7:30pm
Sunday, September 20: 1:00pm, 5:00pm

And at the American Airlines Arena in Miami:

Wednesday, September 23: 7:30pm
Thursday, September 24: 7:30pm
Friday, September 25: 7:30pm
Saturday, September 26: 11:30am, 3:30pm, 7:30pm
Sunday, September 27: 1:00pm, 5:00pm