Learning from others' mistakes

For the past couple days, my husband has been extremely interested in the news about the Ft. Lauderdale police chief's wife shooting at the chief. Like, more than any other news story I've ever seen him be interested in. He told me about what he heard on the radio on his drive home. He came home and flipped through the channels on TV. He went online to look for video. This morning, he read the latest in the paper. (News is everywhere, isn't it?)

I think my husband is just taking notes so it doesn't happen to him....

That's what I thought he said

I got these supposedly washable markers for my son, let him play with them, freaked over the amount of ink that was coming out when he handled them, and put them on the kitchen counter where he couldn't reach (or see) them.

I didn't mention the markers to my husband, who later turned up with ink on his nice, conservative, with-matching-tie work shirt.

My nice, conservative, with-matching-tie husband explained: "I didn't know what they were. So I was shaking them and squeezing them and rubbing their soft little heads. Then I realized the soft part was a marker and I was like, Drop it like it's hot!"

I spit out my drink.

Where did he learn that?!

Tell me what to do this weekend

This is what happens when you don't look at the calendar:

Me: Honey, you're off work tomorrow!

Honey Husband: Why?

Me: It's the Fourth of July!

Husband: Already?!

Me: Yeah! And I'm so mad because it would have been the perfect long weekend to go somewhere but now it's probably too late to make plans so we're stuck here like a bunch of losers.

Husband: Speak for yourself.

(Apparently, we missed all the commercials, fireworks stands and red, white and blue cupcakes for sale at Publix that indicate a major national holiday is approaching. And my husband didn't get the memo at work. We're observant like that.)

Then I read somewhere that July 4 and July 3 are the first and second deadliest road travel days of the year, respectively. So I feel a little better about not going anywhere.

However, my man has pointed out we should still have fun. Because a day off work is still a day off work. We looked at several options -- everything from flying to the Bahamas to staying in bed in our pajamas all day. But we've narrowed it down to:

Lion Country Safari -- to drive through a giraffe's legs and take the Man-cub to the petting zoo

Museum of Discovery and Science -- for the new frog exhibit and an Imax movie

The beach -- because my car needs more sand

Kayaking in our own tandem, possibly at John U. Lloyd Beach State Park -- because my kayak is way too dry and lonely

Please vote, or give me additional ideas. Thanks!

Care to sign my toe cast?

Suppose my husband opened a shipment and pulled out packing material that was made of a 30-foot-long piece of heavy paper, which he started dragging through the house to amuse our son.

And maybe I thought it would be fun to grab the other end and go in the opposite direction, around the corner, down the hallway.

But the thing was so long I didn't know it was actually a separate piece of packing material paper. And as I ran down the hall with the paper, my flip-flop slipped and I went sliding into the wall.

Perhaps I whacked my middle right toe so bad that it burned and I was lying on the hard floor, speechless with pain.

And then suppose my husband actually put down the paper he was playing with and brought me a bag of ice while I lay on the floor.

Just another happy scene of domestic life.

Rorschach test for parents

My husband's parents just got back from a fabulous trip to Europe. They e-mailed my husband a couple of photos of their tour of London and Paris. We looked at the thumbnail images that showed up in our e-mail program. One photo showed his mother and another woman in their bath robes, with a man standing in the middle.

"Who are those people?" I asked my husband.

"I don't know," he said.

"Did your parents go to one of those European baths, where everyone gets naked and sits in the same big pool together?" I asked.

"Beats me," he said. "I thought my mom and some other woman were posing with Hugh Hefner."

Turned out that his father took a picture of people standing in the hotel hallway after the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night.

Something tells me my husband and I need a date....

The great possum rescue of 2008

I am having the worst luck lately. Yesterday, my Internet service was down again. And my Mother's Day.... Well, this is what I planned to post yesterday.

- - - - -

Ah, Mother's Day. A time to celebrate mothers and take time to reflect on ... wait ... reflecting? Something reflecting in the pool. No, there's actually something in the pool. Let's take a closer look....

It's a baby possum, clinging to the pool-vacuum hose floating on the surface!

My husband takes the pool net to scoop the rat lookalike into a bucket. Poor thing could have been there all night.

So my husband decides to put the possum in a cat carrier with a little food and water so it can dry out and regain its strength before releasing it.



Then he begins a long afternoon of -- what? doing things to celebrate the mother of his child? -- no! Fixing the busted lawn sprinklers, of course.

Later that night, we let the possum/opossum/Pogo go into the wilds of our yard. It hung around at first, then took off like a shot into my wildflower garden. Since we went through all of this trouble to help the possum, I sincerely hope it doesn't just become roadkill.

As my husband would say, "It was a dark and possumous night."

I guess if I'm a quote-unquote mom blogger, then I'm going to have to step up the mom posts and stop blogging about wildlife so much!